How to Tell the Difference Between Fear and Your Intuition
When I decided to start my coaching business, something inside of me just knew.
Long before it became my reality, my intuition was already showing me the woman I was becoming.
I could see myself standing in front of groups of women. I could picture myself sending encouraging voice messages after coaching sessions with my clients. And I could envision building a business that generated a consistent six-figure income doing work I genuinely loved.
The vision I kept seeing...and two years later, here it was.
I could also feel in my heart the joy of finally finding my tribe, a community of incredible women who truly understood me.
I also kept having a vision of me standing in the middle of South Congress here in the great city of Austin, feeling so proud about being a leader of women. (Two years later, I had my photographer capture that exact vision.)
None of that had happened yet. I had no idea exactly how I was going to get there. I just knew that was the direction I was supposed to go.
Then fear showed up.
Fear started comparing me to other women. It told me they were more articulate, more experienced, more confident, and had more certifications than I did. I'd look at their websites and convince myself I wasn't good enough. Maybe I needed more experience. Maybe I needed to know more before I could really help people. Maybe I just wasn't ready yet. I’d run myself in circles questioning if the risk was worth the reward. Would this path give me the financial freedom I wanted?
There were plenty of moments when I questioned it.
Was this really my intuition guiding me...or was fear trying to talk me out of it? Should I trust it?
Looking back, I can clearly see that my intuition and my fear were having two completely different conversations.
My intuition showed me the woman I was becoming.
Fear tried to convince me of all the reasons I could never become her.
One of the questions I've both asked myself and heard from countless coaching clients over the years is:
"How do I know if this is my intuition...or if it's fear? Which one should I trust?"
It's such an important question because the answer can completely change the direction of your life.
In fact, my intuition has been one of the greatest guides in my life. I consider it my superpower. But that didn't happen overnight. I had to learn to trust it, and I had to learn how it speaks to me.
I've also realized that learning how to trust your intuition isn't about eliminating fear. It's about recognizing which voice is actually guiding your decisions.
Over the years, I've realized there are three distinct differences between fear and intuition.
1. Fear Is Future-Focused. Intuition Is Present.
Fear constantly asks, "What if?" What if I fail? What if no one hires me? What if people think I'm not good enough?
Fear creates stories about things that haven't happened yet. It wants certainty before you're willing to move forward.
Intuition doesn't do that. It isn't worried about every possible outcome. It simply responds to what feels true in the present moment and gently points you toward your next step.
2. Fear Wants Proof. Intuition Doesn't.
Fear wanted proof that I could build a successful coaching business before I ever started. It wanted guarantees that people would hire me, that I'd make enough money, and that I wouldn't fail.
My intuition never asked for proof. It simply showed me what was possible.
The proof came later.
But only because I was willing to take the first step before I had all the answers.
Here's what I've learned about intuition: it doesn't show you the entire path or every detail of the journey. It simply shows you the next step.
My job was to trust it, take that step, and believe the next one would reveal itself when the time was right.
3. Fear Seeks Protection. Intuition Seeks Alignment.
Looking back, I don't think fear was trying to talk me out of my dream. It was trying to protect me from uncertainty.
I'd never built a coaching business before. I'd never stood in front of groups of women as a spiritual guide and life coach. I'd never created the life my intuition was showing me.
From my nervous system's perspective, I was stepping into unfamiliar territory. And our nervous systems are wired to see uncertainty as something to be cautious of. Fear wasn't telling me my dream was wrong. It was responding to the fact that I had never been there before.
I think this is one of the biggest mistakes so many women make. We assume that because something feels scary, it must not be right.
I've found the opposite is often true.
Sometimes fear simply shows up because you're about to become someone you've never been before.
That doesn't mean you're on the wrong path.
It simply means you're growing.
Once I started coaching women, I began noticing the same pattern over and over again.
They know they want to start the business, become a life coach, ask for the promotion, write the book, become a better parent, attract their soulmate, or finally leave the relationship that no longer feels right.
The problem is that the moment they think about what it will take to get there, their nervous system reacts.
They begin doubting themselves. They compare themselves to other people. They second guess their abilities and potential. They convince themselves they need one more certification, one more class, or one more year of experience before they're ready. They tell themselves they don't have enough time, enough money, or enough talent. Then, if they finally take that first step and something goes sideways, they interpret it as a sign they weren't meant to keep going.
Many women mistake those feelings for intuition.
More often than not, what they're experiencing is a protective survival response.
Their nervous system isn't saying, "This isn't the right path."
It's saying, "This is unfamiliar, and unfamiliar doesn't feel safe."
That's a very different message.
There will almost always be a gap between where you are today and where your intuition is leading you. Fear wants to fill that gap with certainty before you'll take the first step. Intuition simply points you in the right direction and asks you to trust yourself enough to begin.
How Your Nervous System Influences Your Decisions
This is why so many women who genuinely want to change struggle to do it alone. Their nervous system has learned that familiar feels safe, even when what's familiar is keeping them stuck.
Real change isn't just about thinking differently. It's about teaching your nervous system that it's safe to make different choices, take healthy risks, and keep moving forward, even when it feels uncomfortable.
That's why coaching can create such lasting change. It isn't simply about setting goals and thinking different thoughts. It's about having someone beside you who can help you recognize when fear is taking over, regulate your nervous system through the discomfort of growth, and keep moving toward the life you truly want. Over time, what once felt terrifying begins to feel normal. The new becomes familiar, and you begin trusting yourself more than you trust your fear.
Here's a question I often ask my clients, and I'd like to ask you the same thing:
“What would you do if you TRUSTED yourself MORE than you trusted your FEAR?”
Sit with that for a moment.
Your answer may reveal that you've known what you wanted all along.
The real question isn't whether fear is present.
It's whether you're going to let fear make the decision.
Fear vs. Intuition: A Quick Gut Check
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Ask yourself:
Am I moving toward something I truly want, or am I simply trying to avoid discomfort?
Am I waiting until I feel completely certain before taking the next step?
If fear weren't part of the equation, would I make the same decision? Be honest with yourself.
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Ask yourself:
If no one else's opinion mattered, what would my heart already know?
When I quiet the mental chatter, what answer keeps gently rising to the surface?
Does this decision make me feel more like myself or less like myself?
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Ask yourself:
Before I ask someone else what they think, what do I think?
Am I looking for someone else's permission because I'm afraid to trust my own?
Does this decision bring me a quiet sense of peace, even if it also feels scary?
If I already trusted myself completely, what would I do next?
Then remember:
Look for peace, not certainty. Fear wants certainty before you'll move forward. Intuition simply asks you to take the next step.
Pay attention to your body. Fear often feels rushed, tight, and urgent. Intuition is usually softer and doesn't always make logical sense. It may still ask you to do something scary, but underneath it there's often a sense of peace.
Build self-trust one decision at a time. You don't build self-trust by thinking about it. You build it by keeping the promises you make to yourself and honoring what you know deep down.
Ready to Start Trusting Yourself Again?
If you've spent years second-guessing yourself, overthinking every decision, or wondering whether you're listening to fear or your intuition, you don't have to figure it out alone.
One of the most powerful things coaching offers is a safe space to quiet the noise, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with the inner wisdom that's been there all along.
If you're ready to stop letting fear make your decisions and start creating a life that truly feels like yours, I'd love to support you.
👉 Schedule a complimentary 30-minute discovery call and let's explore whether coaching is the right next step for you.
One of many dreams that began with trusting my intuition.
Hi, I'm Jessica Sheaffer.
I'm a Master Certified Life Coach, somatic coach, and bodywork therapist who's spent more than 25 years helping women reconnect with themselves. Over the years, I've learned that lasting change doesn't happen because someone gives you better advice. It happens when your nervous system finally feels safe enough to believe that a different life is possible.
My passion is helping women stop living from fear, trust themselves again, and create lives that genuinely feel like home. Whether we're working through self-doubt, relationship patterns, people-pleasing, or the next big leap in life, my goal is always the same: to help you come home to yourself.
When I'm not coaching or working with clients, you'll usually find me exploring the mountains, playing in the ocean (my favorite place to be), planning my next adventure, running my kids around town, walking my golden retriever, Bodhi, or enjoying a great cup of coffee while dreaming up my next article.
I'm so glad you're here.
