Be Careful Who You Listen To
I have some questions for you…
Who is calling YOU out on all your excuses?
The stories you've started believing?
The FEARS that keep making your decisions?
Seriously...
Who in your life is holding you accountable to what you say you want instead of letting you complain endlessly about what's not working in your life?
(Insert tiny violin playing for you here.)
Who is that person for you?
I'm talking about the person who's willing to ask you the hard questions, the one who helps you see your blind spots, and the one who won't let you give up on yourself.
Ready for some truth?
The women I've seen make the biggest changes in their lives almost never do it alone.
I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't reached out for support. I wouldn't have started my business. I wouldn't have had the courage to leave relationships that no longer fit. I wouldn't have taken the risks I've taken. And I definitely wouldn't be helping women the way I do today.
Today, as a life coach, I help women who are tired of overthinking, people-pleasing, being driven by anxiety, and constantly questioning themselves, but who, deep down, know they want more from life. Together, we uncover the stories and survival patterns that have been running their lives so they can finally trust themselves again and create lives that actually feel like their own.
I know exactly what that feels like because I used to tell myself the same kinds of stories.
Thinking back to my early beginnings, I remember driving to my office one morning thinking about how much I wanted to step into leadership and truly help women in a bigger way. I was working with my own coach at the time, but I kept telling myself I wasn't ready. I needed more certifications. I needed to finish the coaching program I was in. I needed just a little more experience.
During one of our sessions, she looked at me and said, "Jessica, you're ready. Why do you keep telling yourself you're not?"
In that moment, I could see how this story I'd been creating just wasn't true.
I realized I wasn't waiting because I actually needed anything else. I was waiting because I'd created a story that I wasn't enough yet. The truth was, I was comparing myself to other successful women I knew in the industry instead of trusting what I already knew. Looking back, I can honestly say that story was holding me back and I'm incredibly grateful someone was willing to call me out on it. If she hadn't called me out, I probably would have continued telling myself that same story for months, maybe even years, delaying the dreams and visions of what I knew my life could be.Self-trust
Written By Jessica Sheaffer
I have some questions for you…
Who is calling YOU out on all your excuses?
The stories you've started believing?
The FEARS that keep making your decisions?
Seriously...
Who in your life is holding you accountable to what you say you want instead of letting you complain endlessly about what's not working in your life?
(Insert tiny violin playing for you here.)
Who is that person for you?
I'm talking about the person who's willing to ask you the hard questions, the one who helps you see your blind spots, and the one who won't let you give up on yourself.
Ready for some truth?
The women I've seen make the biggest changes in their lives almost never do it alone.
I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't reached out for support. I wouldn't have started my business. I wouldn't have had the courage to leave relationships that no longer fit. I wouldn't have taken the risks I've taken. And I definitely wouldn't be helping women the way I do today.
Today, as a life coach, I help women who are tired of overthinking, people-pleasing, being driven by anxiety, and constantly questioning themselves, but who, deep down, know they want more from life. Together, we uncover the stories and survival patterns that have been running their lives so they can finally trust themselves again and create lives that actually feel like their own.
I know exactly what that feels like because I used to tell myself the same kinds of stories.
Thinking back to my early beginnings, I remember driving to my office one morning thinking about how much I wanted to step into leadership and truly help women in a bigger way. I was working with my own coach at the time, but I kept telling myself I wasn't ready. I needed more certifications. I needed to finish the coaching program I was in. I needed just a little more experience.
During one of our sessions, she looked at me and said, "Jessica, you're ready. Why do you keep telling yourself you're not?"
In that moment, I could see how this story I'd been creating just wasn't true.
I realized I wasn't waiting because I actually needed anything else. I was waiting because I'd created a story that I wasn't enough yet. The truth was, I was comparing myself to other successful women I knew in the industry instead of trusting what I already knew. Looking back, I can honestly say that story was holding me back and I'm incredibly grateful someone was willing to call me out on it. If she hadn't called me out, I probably would have continued telling myself that same story for months, maybe even years, delaying the dreams and visions of what I knew my life could be.
Having that support was life-changing.
She believed in me before I fully believed in myself. She challenged me when I wanted to play small. She helped me interrupt my patterns instead of staying stuck. She refused to let me settle for a life that looked okay on the outside but felt empty on the inside.
That's what support does. It doesn't do the work for you. It simply refuses to let you stay the woman you've outgrown.
Maybe that's why this article found you today.
You may even be reading this thinking:
"I know I'm meant to be a leader and use my voice."
"I want to leave the relationship and find epic love."
"I want to start the business and make really good money."
"I want to travel and see the world."
"I want to stop people-pleasing and finally say 'No.'"
"I want to climb that mountain, darn it."
So when are you going to make these things happen?
Will you actually do what you need to do to make it all happen?
The truth is, most women don't stay stuck because they aren't capable…
They stay stuck because the voice inside their head becomes louder than the vision in their heart.
When your nervous system has spent years trying to keep you safe, fear can start to sound like wisdom.
And without someone helping you question that voice, it slowly becomes your reality.
But here's the thing...
That voice in your head didn't appear out of nowhere.
Over time, it was shaped by the voices around you. The people who told you to play it safe. The people who normalized settling. The people who made excuses. The people who unintentionally reinforced your fears.
We don't just inherit beliefs. We absorb the voices of the people around us until they begin to sound like our own.
Which means something incredibly important...
You're likely to become more like the people you spend the most time with.
If you surround yourself with people who constantly complain, make excuses, settle for less than they want, or always see themselves as the victim, that way of thinking slowly starts to feel normal. Before long, you're making the same excuses, settling for the same life, and convincing yourself that "someday" will come.
But the opposite is true, too.
When you're surrounded by people who challenge you, encourage you, ask more of you, celebrate your wins, and lovingly call you out when you're playing small, you begin to rise to meet that standard.
You start taking bigger risks. You stop settling. You keep the promises you make to yourself. You begin believing in yourself because you're surrounded by people who remind you of who you really are, even on the days you forget.
That's the power of the people you choose to let influence your life.
So choose your circle carefully.
Here's what I've learned from my own journey and from helping women over the years...
Your future will almost always reflect the voices you listen to the most.
And if you don't currently have people in your life who will challenge you, encourage you, hold you accountable, and refuse to let you settle, maybe it's time to find your people.
Whether that's a coach, mentor, therapist, or a community of women committed to growing, the people around you matter more than you think.
Because the right support doesn't make your dreams happen for you. It helps you question the stories you've been telling yourself for years, the ones that convinced you you weren't ready, weren't enough, or that you should wait just a little longer.
And when those stories begin to change, your life begins to change.
At the end of the day, every woman is listening to a voice.
Sometimes it's fear.
Sometimes it's self-doubt.
Sometimes it's the people around her.
The question is...
Which voice are you choosing to believe?
Ready to Stop Talking Yourself Out of the Life You Want?
If this article resonated with you, chances are you already know what needs to change.
You don't need more information. You need someone willing to help you see your blind spots, challenge the stories keeping you stuck, and support you as you create the life you know you're meant to live.
Learn more about The Coming Home Process or schedule a complimentary Discovery Call to see if we're the right fit.
About the Author
Jessica Sheaffer, LMT, RBT, RES-CPT
Certified Life Coach | 25 years experience
Jessica Sheaffer is an Austin-based life coach, somatic practitioner, and founder of The Coming Home Process, a transformational coaching experience that helps women break free from anxiety, people-pleasing, self-doubt, and the unconscious survival patterns keeping them stuck. With more than 25 years of experience helping women reconnect with themselves through coaching, somatic work, and nervous system healing, Jessica helps women stop abandoning themselves, trust themselves again, and create lives that feel deeply aligned. She works with clients in Austin and virtually around the world.
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Self-trustwomen overthinkaustin life coachlimiting beliefsself-doubtfearemotional healingwomen's empowermentaccountabilitynervous systemmindsetpeople-pleasinganxiety
I’ve wr
She believed in me before I fully believed in myself. She challenged me when I wanted to play small. She helped me interrupt my patterns instead of staying stuck. She refused to let me settle for a life that looked okay on the outside but felt empty on the inside.
That's what support does. It doesn't do the work for you. It simply refuses to let you stay the woman you've outgrown.
Maybe that's why this article found you today.
You may even be reading this thinking:
"I know I'm meant to be a leader and use my voice."
"I want to leave the relationship and find epic love."
"I want to start the business and make really good money."
"I want to travel and see the world."
"I want to stop people-pleasing and finally say 'No.'"
"I want to climb that mountain, darn it."
So when are you going to make these things happen?
Will you actually do what you need to do to make it all happen?
The truth is, most women don't stay stuck because they aren't capable…
They stay stuck because the voice inside their head becomes louder than the vision in their heart.
When your nervous system has spent years trying to keep you safe, fear can start to sound like wisdom.
And without someone helping you question that voice, it slowly becomes your reality.
But here's the thing...
That voice in your head didn't appear out of nowhere.
Over time, it was shaped by the voices around you. The people who told you to play it safe. The people who normalized settling. The people who made excuses. The people who unintentionally reinforced your fears.
I've written before about why smart women talk themselves out of the life they want, and this is one of the biggest reasons. We don't just inherit beliefs. We absorb the voices of the people around us until they begin to sound like our own.
Which means something incredibly important...
You're likely to become more like the people you spend the most time with.
If you surround yourself with people who constantly complain, make excuses, settle for less than they want, or always see themselves as the victim, that way of thinking slowly starts to feel normal. Before long, you're making the same excuses, settling for the same life, and convincing yourself that "someday" will come.
But the opposite is true, too.
When you're surrounded by people who challenge you, encourage you, ask more of you, celebrate your wins, and lovingly call you out when you're playing small, you begin to rise to meet that standard.
You start taking bigger risks. You stop settling. You keep the promises you make to yourself. You begin believing in yourself because you're surrounded by people who remind you of who you really are, even on the days you forget.
That's the power of the people you choose to let influence your life.
So choose your circle carefully.
Here's what I've learned from my own journey and from helping women over the years...
Your future will almost always reflect the voices you listen to the most.
And if you don't currently have people in your life who will challenge you, encourage you, hold you accountable, and refuse to let you settle, maybe it's time to find your people.
Whether that's a coach, mentor, therapist, or a community of women committed to growing, the people around you matter more than you think.
Because the right support doesn't make your dreams happen for you. It helps you question the stories you've been telling yourself for years, the ones that convinced you you weren't ready, weren't enough, or that you should wait just a little longer.
And when those stories begin to change, your life begins to change.
At the end of the day, every woman is listening to a voice.
Sometimes it's fear.
Sometimes it's self-doubt.
Sometimes it's the people around her.
The question is...
Which voice are you choosing to believe?
Ready to Stop Talking Yourself Out of the Life You Want?
If this article resonated with you, chances are you already know what needs to change.
You don't need more information. You need someone willing to help you see your blind spots, challenge the stories keeping you stuck, and support you as you create the life you know you're meant to live.
Learn more about The Coming Home Process or schedule a complimentary Discovery Call to see if we're the right fit.
About the Author
Life Coach • Somatic Practitioner • 25+ Years Helping Women Heal and Grow
Jessica Sheaffer is an Austin-based life coach, somatic practitioner, and founder of The Coming Home Process, a transformational coaching experience that helps women break free from anxiety, people-pleasing, self-doubt, and the unconscious survival patterns keeping them stuck. With more than 25 years of experience helping women reconnect with themselves through coaching, somatic work, and nervous system healing, Jessica helps women stop abandoning themselves, trust themselves again, and create lives that feel deeply aligned. She works with clients in Austin and virtually around the world.
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